The Solution for Love Bombing

TL;DR: Psychiatrist and psychoanalysis-trained here. Below I discuss the perspectives of the persons doing and receiving love bombing, what a normal course of a relationship could be, and a solution for love bombing.

The Person Doing the Love Bombing

Lovely affectionate, even subjectively grandiose, gestures are not love bombing if they are sincere. The issue is that the person doing the love bombing may not realize they are doing it. For example, people with a narcissistic or borderline personality disorder often do this as an impulse, a learned behavior. If they do realize their love bombing behaviors and it’s intentionally used as a way to gain control, then it’s manipulative.

The Person Receiving

The root concern regarding love bombing is that the person on the receiving end may feel hurt, and even traumatized after they stop getting the love bombs. The person doing the love bombing may lose interest and end the relationship abruptly. Or, the relationship is filled with hot and cold behaviors with the toxic up-and-down emotional rollercoaster classically manifested by narcissists and borderlines.

What Love Bombing ISN’T

The caveat is that in a normal relationship, culturally and historically, the gents do normal “courting” behaviors to earn the ladies’ love. Some would argue it is not done enough in today’s dating. In a normal relationship, passion and grand gestures and the emotional feeling of “love” decreases as a relationship progresses. That decrease is necessary for the couple to concentrate on other things in life, like raising a family. However, those “addicted” to the highs of emotional component may see that as a lack of “love” or a “withdrawal of love.”

Love Bombing SOLUTION

The key solution is really to talk to your partner, set boundaries, respect each other boundaries, understand how each wants to receive love, and do your best to fulfill those loving needs for each other.

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *