TL;DR To become a strong, independent woman, you have to understand that loving yourself and putting yourself first is not a selfish act. The more of this you do, the more of yourself you discover. It is in that discovery of yourself that grants you to be strong and independent.

There was a time when women had to fight for their right to vote, but how times have changed. Today’s women are more than capable of choosing a leader; some are leaders themselves. We have strong, independent women making waves and changing our society. But what makes them different from others?

Being a strong, independent woman is not just about being physically strong or having a title or a position in a company. It means being comfortable with yourself alone, having self-confidence without the validation of others, and most importantly, being able to take care of yourself.

Being defined as strong and independent doesn’t mean you don’t need to rely on others too; it is simply a choice if you want to, and that doesn’t define weakness. Continue reading to find out how to become the woman you want to be. 

Don’t Compare

Remember that all women struggle with something; we may be open about it, but mostly we keep it to ourselves. There is no need to put yourself under unnecessary pressure by comparing your flaws and failures to others because they may also be going through the same self-doubting process as you. It will only lower your self-esteem, and make you feel insecure about yourself.

Strong women are those who are at ease with themselves in any situation. These are the kinds of women that don’t get easily jealous of somebody; instead, they carry themselves with confidence and grace.

The most common example is when we compare our bodies with the models that we see in magazines. If you catch yourself doing this, stop for a moment. Models go through a strict diet and workout routine to achieve that kind of body; they do it for a living. But just because they have a better physique than you doesn’t mean they are better or that you are less. Instead, learn to accept and love your body.

Constant positive reaffirmation, be grateful, and positive self-talk will help you get over this hump and will make you feel better. 

Get To Know You

Being independent means that you are responsible for your decisions in life. And the better way to make the right decisions is by knowing yourself. 

Spending time to get to know and reflect on yourself is a skill that takes a lot of practice. But once you get the hang of it, it will serve as a foundation for understanding yourself—your wants and needs, your strengths and weaknesses, and how you react in certain situations. 

When you are comfortable and confident with yourself, you carry yourself better in any crowd or situation, you don’t need validation from others, and you are at ease being alone. And being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely; it is a way for you to think about things, assess yourself, and take care of your well-being.  

Pay For Yourself

Independent means that you are capable of providing for yourself. You know how to earn a living, and how to handle your finances, and how to make it grow.

Being able to handle your finances is a big part of being independent. You don’t rely on anyone for money, thus giving you full responsibility for yourself. You feel secure when you know where your money is coming from and where you spend it. Having your own money will give you a certain amount of freedom to do things you want or buy things you like.

When you know how capable you are at finding money, it builds confidence in yourself that you are always able to provide for yourself no matter where you are or what the situation is. Like it or not, money is essential in our daily lives, and being responsible for it will help secure your future.

Be Your Own Problem Solver 

One of the best things about being independent is that you are aware of the fact that you are responsible for your own life; you don’t need or wait for someone to come and provide things for you. This may also be true when facing problems.

Being able to solve your problems boosts your confidence and resilience. While it is okay to ask for advice from someone, you should never burden them with solving your problem. Surely there will be someone who will help you try to fix your problems, but that doesn’t mean that you depend on them to do that; you are responsible for your own life, and that includes your problems. Nobody wants to fix all your problems for you.

Surround Yourself with the Right People

To grow, you should surround yourself with women that share the same drive and mindset as you do. It is critical to choose the people with whom you want to surround yourself because it helps you see things from a different perspective and is better for your well-being. Nurturing a circle where you can learn and become a better person with other ideas and perspectives will help you understand people more and open your mind.

Instead of talking about the lives of others, talk about something that you want to be part of that will have an impact on other people. Do something that will inspire younger women so that they can become independent and strong. Be a positive example that the younger generation can follow.

Women have come a long way since we fought for our rights. It is just fitting to keep elevating the bar for the future generation. It is always a big help when they have someone to look up to. Being an independent woman is more than being capable of providing for your needs. It is a woman that can stand alone with confidence and grace and knows that wherever she is she can always depend on herself. 

Dr. Krysti (Lan Chi) Vo, MD is an example of a strong independent woman. She is a psychiatrist, speaker, and advisor who gives pieces of advice. Visit her website to learn more about how to become a better version of yourself.